常聽媽說我小的時候超級愛哭，只要見到陌生人就哭，住在嘉義時家中常有爸爸的朋友來訪，而我的迎客方式是哭，而且任何人哄都無效，只要媽媽。媽也只好背著我做飯，天熱時我們兩人全身都是汗，一將我放下，我就放聲大哭，只好繼續背著，媽媽說我真是個磨人精。我記得剛搬到宜蘭時（還沒念小學），跟著姐姐們在村子裡玩，可是不知何時他們都不見了，我不知道怎麼回家，就躲在一棟房子旁邊哭，不記得後來是如何回到家（那時的眷村房子每一棟都長得一個樣），「愛哭鬼」也成了我的另一個名字。上小學後，有一次感冒了，媽媽騎著腳踏車載著我去軍眷診所看病，由於病人很多媽媽就跟掛號的阿姨說她先去買菜，待會再過來，請幫忙照顧一下。媽媽一離開我就開始哭，直到她回來。因為我愛哭又膽小，從此我愛哭的聲名遠播。媽媽總說我傻，她怎麼可能丟下我不管呢？是啊，媽媽對我們無微不至的照顧，結了婚，在第三代出生後又繼續照顧他們。媽總是默默的、無怨無悔的奉獻她的愛。
小時候覺得愛哭是很丟臉的事，常學習如何不讓眼淚掉下來，漸長似乎較能控制，然而如今依然「愛哭」。不過最近好很多，想到媽媽時，情緒也平靜多了。昨晚和媽媽在夢裡相會，很清晰看見媽媽的模樣，身上穿著藍灰色的毛背心，站著對我微微笑，當我大聲的叫著媽、媽、媽，就醒過來了，可惜沒和媽媽說話。也許這是媽媽要告訴我們，她已知道了所有的好消息，要我們別再感傷，就像她在時一樣面對未來的一切吧！
3 comments:
今天是我開刀一週年的日子,本來就想來寫一些感想的,但剛好今天的活動很多,很晚才回來,正想作罷,卻發現有新文章,就順便發表一下囉!
說實在的,要不再悲傷還滿困難的,只能說盡量吧,而且,哭也是一種情緒發洩,總比悶在心理好吧!我不是一個愛哭的人,總想表現的很堅強,但生病後到媽媽的離開,這一年的淚水可能是最多的吧,好像越來越愛哭,不過,我並不覺得這樣不好,其實,某種程度它也算是種解脫,只要我們不要一直陷在悲傷的情緒中就好了!
Not only are you a love to cry person, but also I am too. I don’t know that because of age getting older or I ‘m too sensitive it makes me cry? It’s not only when I watching the soup opera, but also during I watching the some bad news I’m cried.
However, I don’t think cry is a bad thing, because it can relieve our sentiment. I think as Evelyn said, “We don’t just still fall into sorrowful sentiment that would be fine.”
On the may 8th and 9th continuous 2 days I dream of mom. On May 8th I dream of mom was in E-Land our military dormitory. She wore a pretty Chinese dress and she looked so young. I saw her was busy back and forth through so many as veils’ curtains. We did not have any conversation. On May 9th when I took a nap, I dream of mom was probably in Huntington Beach home. She was taking a shower. When she heard me just walked into the house, she opened the bathroom door slightly and said, “Doris, give the taxi drive $15.” In the dream I thought how strange it was, she knew how to take a taxi, but didn’t pay for it and then took a shower. I did not realize the day after the following day was Mother’s day.
On June 23rd while I was taken a nap, I dream of mom again. We all sisters went to a field trip with mom that was beautiful scenery even on the top of mountains still cover with snow. We just couldn’t stop to say “Oh and ah,” it was so amazingly gorgeous. Although we would not have chance to see our mom again, her graceful image still in our mind.
我也不是很愛哭的人，但是這一年可能也是我流最多眼淚的日子吧。想念媽媽的時候教我不哭也難。不過就像小鳳說的不要陷在悲傷的情緒中就好。
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